6-16, Camping in Colorado

I know, it's been quiet on the 'Finding Focus' blogfront.  And although my posts are spreading thin, I do believe I'm slowly achieving my goal of -- you guessed it-- finding MY focus.  I knew things would start to settle into place if I could just take a step back, let the chips fall where they may and not force them.  I'd really been struggling with the concept of my business.  How much do I want it?  How much time am I willing to commit to it?  How much time do I really have to commit to it?  Is my motivation for the money or personal satisfaction?  Family first or a balance of both?  These questions have weighed heavily on my mind.  And what I am discovering the answer to be...... a place and time for everything.  In Washington, where I began my business, my photo cards and the farmers market were my outlet.  My husband was deployed, our son was quite young, and As Eye See It gave me a link to the community.  In Maryland, my husband was home and our son was in grade school.  I had more time on my hands and the desire to broaden my photography skills.  I dove into children's portraits and acquired more than experience, I acquired friends.  This endeavor filled a place in my mind and in my heart that was just what I needed and when I needed it.  And now, in Colorado, I have decided that it is ok to be a photographer whose priority is capturing memories for my own family instead of for others.  I have enjoyed getting up close and personal with all that Colorado has to offer.  I have rekindled my love of nature photography.  I have taken very few photos of people and when I do they are of my own family.  In the beginning, I struggled with this, I felt like I was sliding back down the hill of progress rather than climbing up it.  But in this, too, I have discovered that it's not the destination but the journey.  My here and now is my family.  See, next month, we are bringing a little one into our family.  We didn't have the typical 9-month wait, our wait was 6 years.  It has taken 6 years for this to be the right time and place for our little girl from China to join our family.  The adoption journey has been a lot like my photographic journey.  It's been filled with hopes, doubts, skepticism, optimism, you name it.  Nothing ever seemed to be where I thought it should be at the time I wanted it to be.  And now I see-- that's ok.  There is a time and place for everything.  So while I am not pursuing my photography skills professionally at this time, it's ok for me to enjoy and pursue them personally.  I don't pretend to know when the tide will turn and things will again change, but I have vowed to take that step back and let things present themselves as they may.  I can hear my beloved Grandmother's voice in my head, "Oh, be still, Tara, be still....".  What wonderful advice.

"Hancock View"

"Alpine Flower"

"Red Cactus Bloom"

"Cottonwood Lake"

"Cottonwood Pass North"

"Cottonwood Pass West"

"Cottonwood Pass Northwest"

"Cottonwood Pass Northeast"

4-25, Lilacs

I love lilacs.  They were my first favorite flower.  We had a giant, deep-purple lilac bush at the end of our driveway of my childhood home.  I loved to stand by it and admire the beautiful blossoms and wonderful fragrance.  When my husband and I were house-hunting for our first home (years ago!!), I told him I wanted to have a lilac bush.  We planted one but got restationed before it had a chance to grow too much.  Each time we moved, I revoiced my request:  I want a lilac!!  House #2- no.  House #3- no.  House #4- BINGO!  I wasn't fond of the giant bush that had overtaken a corner of our yard by the back deck UNTIL the spring came.  My husband said, "I think that might be a lilac bush".  My reaction?  "Don't tease me!".  Sure enough, as the blossoms began to grow, I was astonished at my good fortune of that 'big, ugly bush' being the very one I had been longing for for the past 14 years.  I was delighted!  While the hue may not be the rich shade that evokes the wonderful memories of my childhood, maybe this lighter variety will do just that for my own kids in years to come.  I love looking out my kitchen window and admiring this wonderful, aromatic flower.  If only I could attach a scent to these photos......

"Lone Lilac"

"Lilac Cluster"

 As Eye See It - Flower Album

4-22, A Successful Seminar

Lately, I've been struggling.  Struggling with the loss of two very special people in the past year. Struggling to heal from a painful, energy-zapping surgery.  Struggling to come to grips with an unexpected, heart-breaking experience on the six-year journey to adopting our little girl from China.   Struggling to understand why I've had no desire to pick up my camera and do one of the things I love most.  Given all of these things that have been weighing on my mind, I was worried I'd be wasting time and money attending the one-day photography seminar I had signed up for several months back.  But, I thought optimistically, maybe this day would be just what I needed to get my mind back on track.  I was out of the house by 7:30 AM yesterday and drove the hour north of Denver to the seminar location.  I didn't return until 6 PM that night.  For seven hours, I sat in a  dark room with 200 other people watching slides and listening to photography talk.  To you, this may sound like a dreadful way to spend a beautiful spring Saturday.  To me, it was wonderful.  It was energizing, enjoyable and it kick-started my enthusiasm in a way I couldn't have imagined.  It made me appreciate how far my skills and knowledge in photography have come.  I realized that 5-10 years ago I would have been very lost in all of the lingo and concepts that were presented.  The photographers gave ideas and techniques that I can't wait to try for myself.  Yes, the day was a success.  With all that we have going on in our lives now, I may not have a great deal of time to dedicate to my photography, but I'm so thankful for the spark that has been reignited.  If you're looking for some wisdom from seasoned photographers, be sure to check out Gerlach Nature Photography.  John and Barbara Gerlach are a married couple who have been professional photographers for 25 years.  They live in Idaho near the entrance of Yellowstone National Park (not all that far from where I grew up in MT).  They give a great seminar and I can't wait to dig into their photography books.  I'm so thankful for the seminar catalog that found its way into my mailbox in the dead of winter.   With spring, all things anew.  

1-2, Curious Creature

Yes, I love all creatures-- big and small (well, with the exception of rats and snakes!).   I think sometimes the most ordinary and common of creatures can be overlooked.  That is why this day, I chose to photograph this cute, little squirrel.  I love looking out our kitchen window and watching the squirrels frolic and play high above the ground in our Russian Olive tree.  I'm left in awe and wonder how it is they can stay balanced-- it's like watching trapeze artists.  Every so often, they venture onto our deck and explore.  This little guy spent quite awhile balanced on the railing obviously enjoying some tasty morsel.  I know you may be thinking, 'A squirrel?  Really?'.  And to that I answer, "Yes!  A squirrel!".  I can't tell you how many times my friends have told me, "it's the little things with you, isn't it?!".  Obviously, the answer is yes!  I enjoyed watching his little paws...hands...feet...whatever it is squirrels have.....manipulate his food.  And it cracked me up (no pun intended), how at the end of his little meal, he turned and stared me down.  What a funny little creature!  So on your busy days, instead of taking time to 'stop and smell the roses' (although that, too, is a good idea), I say, 'stop and watch the squirrels play.'  Why not?!

12-26, My Parents

Meet the parents.  Yes, these are my parents.  As thrilled as my brother and his fiance were to have their photo session.....my parents....not so much.  I guess that's what happens when your daughter is a budding photographer...no more pictures...please!  But, as always, I convinced them how important it is to keep our photos current.  So, thanks Mom and Dad for your patience.  And, thank you for the example you've shown us on living and loving.  My parents will celebrate their 45th anniversary next month!  Congratulations, Mom and Dad!  We love you!  

12-26, Engagement Photos

"Wedding photos?!  What?!  I'm not a wedding photographer!!  Let's start with engagement photos?  That I can do!"  This resembles the conversation I had with my brother and his fiance a few weeks ago.  Living in separate states, our Christmas holiday together created the perfect opportunity for their engagement photo session and a chance to break-in my in-house studio space.   I have to say that I think it's most challenging photographing my own family....especially my older brother.   After an initial warm-up period, the smiles and purpose of the session showed through with each successive photo I took.  I was so happy to be part of this experience with my brother and his soon-to-be wife.  I loved finally (after a year hiatus) getting my equipment out and using my studio.  What I loved most of all was the response from their viewing the photos (that is when I should have had my camera out!).   I hope they enjoyed the session as much as I did and I hope they're as happy with the results as I am.  Life, love and laughter.....what better subject?

Pose 1

Pose 2

Pose 3

Pose 4

Pose 5

Pose 6a 

Pose 6b

As you can see, I think these two have a very happy future ahead of them.  Now do tell......which pose is your favorite?  I'll be tallying the comments, please let me know!